The Honda Owners Club

if I provide a start, who will carry on?

The man entered the room slowly. When he noticed the dog, he shifted his head and growled. The dog looked up. ‘ah, a fellow traveller.’

"Oh wow" said the man "a talking dog" and took another sip from his glass before........

Regards

Chimpy

he realized that there were actually TWO identical dogs standing there looking up at him, side by side.
They then spoke in unison, "Have you come far?" The man thought, "This is strong liquor, I'd better sit down!"

As he went to sit down, he realised that the room not only had a pair of talking dogs (who looked remarkably like his old retriever 'Fetch'), but the chairs were arranged in a very peculiar way... they were all facing a wall.... and then he realised why.

Stumbling towards the chairs, trying to retain his balance, the room began to spin round and round. He dropped into the nearest chair and slumped back. For a moment he looked at the picture on the wall in front of him before his head jerked and the glass emptied its remaining contents onto the floor.

Regards

Chimpy

The picture seemed to expand until all he could see was the trees and a small house....

as he looked up he could see

His wife staring down at him.......'Drunk again' she said, 'look at what you've done to my new carpet, I hope you're going to clean the mess up, and why are you staring gormlessly at the painting? Anyone would think you've never seen a Constable before'

Angrily, he stood up, looked at his wife squarely in the eyes and said......

my dear your looking very attractive tonight

I was looking at the picture on the wall because its was moving and two
dogs were talking to me .

his wife stormed out of the room to the kitchen to get

his dinner. She brought it into the lounge and promptly gave it to the dogs. 'Now you make sure the dogs don't talk with their mouths full' she said.

The man was horrified,' how dare she do that' he thought!

He went to the understairs cupboard and took out his Golf Clubs....'She'll pay for that' he thought to himself and proceeded to confront his wife in the kitchen.......

Raising his wood above his head, he promptly tripped over the cat and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Regards

Chimpy

his wife looked down and though he was dead
then she could see some thing moving underneath his t shirt
she pull it up and screamed as she ......

... realised he had impaled the cat with the end of his club!

"Oh my god" she cried "You've shafted my pussy!" He looked up surprisingly as the cat limped away with the remains of his wood sticking out of its side.

Regards

Chimpy

They decided the cat needed to be taken to the vet. It was, to say the least, a bit of a handicap having the 3 wood sticking out of his side.

They arrived at the surgery where the vet proceeded with his examination. 'What do you call the cat'? he asked, 'Oh, we call it Tiger' the wife said.

As the vet began to remove the Wood from Tiger..........